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Poetry

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NOTARY

Speak of the devil and he shall appear,

speak of me and I’ll receive a notary.

Never look a monster in the eye,

unless you’ve long prepared to die.

Lucid black, take me back.

To roam lands of bone,

to eat rotting weeps and creeps, alone.

Where I belong

It always sounds wrong

It’s the mortality of the blood notary

DIRTY

All of you that have laid impressions in my sand

I don’t want to have to throw out all this garbage you left inside my pure blue

Polluted is what I am

Because of you I am dirty, full of this waste

What a waste I’m drowning in

The looming scent is putrid

Mirroring your soiled soul

Crawling out of shallow (mucky) graves

I am left to succumb to what I have been raised in

This dark cloud is my birth right

On my knees, pleading

You still cannot take this from me

My shoulders alone have broken to burn it

GREYS

You are telling me it’s too dark to search for light

You’ve been up for days and don’t feel right

The days are cold

And the nights pitch black

Their screaming is so loud

But you can’t look back

And the girl down the street has a soul made of clay

Every word you write, believe she will say

Fearing the thoughts of personalities frayed

When I leave this place

Will I wish I had stayed?

And that boy with the eyes that cut you true

He couldn’t tell, but listened

Is he in love with you?

I could run all month till my knees bend weak

Till my veins collapse

And this world is too bleak

My fingertips have rotted grey

From the ink

That was left to sink and seep into my pores (me) for days

I wrote you a letter drenched in my love

Tears and smears for years- It’s long

So, I wrote you a song that I can’t stop singing

And if you’re bleeding from the ears

Why isn’t my phone ringing?

FIFTEEN

It hurts to smile now

There are bruises on my lips

I forgot how…

To hold on to the tips

Understanding sorrow

Tears swelling up

All again tomorrow

I swear, I’ve had enough

If I scream my feelings,

then will you hear my tears?

Or realize the pain;

My wish to be with you

And call you mine

THIRTEEN

I paint

I drown the Earth with my tears

Cover the Sun with my blood

Pray that I wake up someone other than me

Live a life without fear and shame

Where I am loved and not hated for my individuality

I no longer want to be persecuted for being myself

I cry myself to sleep every night

To let out my frustration and pain

Alone, where no one can see me breakdown

I have to be strong to survive the hell I exist in

The void in my heart grows larger with every breath I take

It will devour my soul and kill me inside

…or has that already happened?

DEAD LINE

You’re ripping the words out of my chest

Why can’t you care?

Silence dripping from my ears

I just want you there

Emotions drying on my lips

Only lies in his voice

I’ll never say a word

And he has the choice

Pain across the line

A piercing dial-tone

He hung up…again

I’ll always be alone

THE RIOT OF TURNING PAGES & MOVING PENS

I am isolated in this room, windowless, closed in walls.

I am drowning in the silence of words.

The riot of turning pages and moving pens.

All I want is the nicotine to hug my lungs and fill my head with tolerance

Every minute feels like a day and I’m spending years in this place (hell)

Empty halls that fill (up) and hollow (out).

The bells never sound quite right.

I am waiting for the sound that unlocks these goddamn doors!

I was already sleeping forever and dreaming of nightmares.

Fuzzy visions and a pack of reds are all I pray for in this room.

Where white noise is a trance,

and the boards are bare from words.

The computer is my enemy and I can’t remember verbs!

I can’t sleep through never; my eyes will melt inside my skull.

I am drowning in the silence of words.

The riot of turning pages and moving pens.

SONGBIRD

They hold the reigns

to life lanes made of

ribbons laid,

upon the esophagus highway.

There is something happening during

the day that plays,

with my nightly ways.

It holds the chains around the veins

Please change, change, change.

Your name.

Songbird, the one that heard

I sing behind scenes seams.

opened the cage, freeing the stage

that took me away, from the esophagus

highway.

LIQUID BONES

How can I tell them what it feels like?

Stuck behind this veil of constriction

Cellophane Filled with liquid bones

Calloused veins

Strange and deranged

Black bags emptied of its tricks

The mind, your body

Sickly made of sticks

It is you forever missed

Once I drowned in this

When mortals kiss

Now I dance the twist to unhappiness