Sometimes...talking to my HS boyfriend really helps. Over the past 9 or 10 years we've been apart, we've gotten closer as friends. And recently, I have been in HELLA NEED for friendship.
I calls this "Texts with Kyle"
Kyle: I feel bad how useless I am to you in your time of need, I wanna help so bad and can't think of anything. If I was in the apartment i would at least be able to offer you a roof. I have like that stomach drop feeling trying to think of anyway to be helpful
Me: There's nothing anyone could do, like I need to fix my life. I mean I'm gonna say it definitely isn't fair, that I did my best to prepare, to be able to deal with my scary past and be supported, but now... I have to deal with that all being a fallacy and also get my shit together and deal with the trauma bullshit… but I really don't feel like I'm in the mood to let any of those things defeat me though.
Kyle: Girl that past line is gold...it read so powerful, it made me smile. I want to lift you up into the air after it
Me: Replace the word bullshit with reality and it's a damn poem
Me: Fuck I’m crazy
Kyle: The entire thing reads very well
Kyle: I screen shot it, I loved it that much
Me: ...Omg, thank you.
Kyle: I mean, the whole thing was just you saying what I've always told you. You're so damn strong.
There's nothing anyone could do,
I need to fix my life. I mean...
I'm going to say it d isn't fair, that I did my best to prepare,
to be able to deal with my scary past and be supported,
but now... I have to deal with that being a fallacy and also
get my shit together and deal with the trauma bullshit-reality
… but I really don't feel like I'm in the mood to let any of those things defeat me though.
Intro: This is a special little ditty about how I’ve felt about myself from time-to-time, and as we go along … Continue Reading Ballad Of…
The first thing I noticed was that I was sad. The second thing I noticed was that I was sick. The third thing I noticed was that I was funny.
But here I am, 28 years old standing before the opening doors of closeted memories. Memories worse than my nightmares, worse than what I had thought I escaped. Memories I thought I killed and buried have been dug out of their graves.
And now, time for a poem and some random feeling spilling! FICTION You appeared to be verisimilar Now you’re unfamiliar … Continue Reading Fiction
DAYS ( I wrote this about nine years ago now but I still think it’s worth sharing despite its age. … Continue Reading Days
I often have a hard time keeping up with my “blog,” despite the fact that I consistently have numerous things … Continue Reading Life Is Oddly Difficult
TRIGGER WARNING: The recordings I am sharing here are not suitable for most likely any audience. Though they are readings … Continue Reading Scarred 4 Lyfe: 2003
(I feel like) Someone Else I used to think everything I ever felt Is out there being said better … Continue Reading Someone Else